All I Need
by IDontReallyWriteAnymore
Summary: InuYasha, orphaned since birth, doesnt like Christmas, in fact, he hates it. How will a certain visit and a letter from a certian girl change his views? After all, they do say that Christmas is a time for miracles... [AU][OOC]


"Good night Inu Yasha" a tall man outside, shoveling snow yelled "Merry Christmas." he then added.

"'Night." said Inu Yasha, sullenly. It was that time of the year again.

The time when the world was full of happiness and cheer. The day where every man woman and child smiled all say. Everyone, except for himself of course. He never really cared for Christmas. In fact, he didn't even get what made today so much more special than yesterday or any other day of the year. Sure he didn't have to work, but still, today was a day to be dreaded. The day that everyone was happy, but him

Believe it or not, there was a time when he loved Christmas. He anticipated it and his small childish dreams would bubble with visions of candy and presents and happily spent time. However, his fairy tale was never a reality and he would wake up and be crushed by the force of his _own _reality. That sad reality that was forced upon him thirty two years too early. He wouldn't wake up to presents, or candy, or even people smiling. He would wake up to the white, white, walls of Second Chances Orphanage, the only thing close to a home he ever had.

He wasn't quite sure who his birth parents were. But from what he heard about them, he was rather glad he didn't know. His mom was only fifteen when she gave birth to him and was into some pretty bad things at the time. Even she didn't know who the father was. He was put into the orphanage a couple days after his birth, and no one would adopt him because of one little 'specialty' he had, as the orphanage people would call it. He was half demon. No one wants a monster for a son.

This wasn't a holiday of joy, or merriment! This was a day of disappointment. A day to fear and hate, just because of the terrible memories it carried for him. A day of cold loneliness. Not that he minded being lonely, there were very few people he would willingly let in his company for long that he could tolerate. Not that they would want to be seen with him anyways. Today was as cold as the snow that cluttered his path, more like the slush that littered the side of the walkway.

However, despite his dislike of Christmas, December was his favorite month. It was always nice and cold outside. The snow would cover the thin skeletal trees, and coat the houses in a thin layer of glistening white. It all looked so beautiful to him. He stopped his walk and surveyed the street. He looked up and down at the houses around him, taking in every ounce of gratification he could get from the striking surroundings. _'They're beautiful' _he thought._ 'All of them.' _He paused for a moment and then added to his train of thought, '_Too bad they harbor the filth disguised as human beings.' _Needless to say, most of his neighbors had not been too nice about him moving into the neighborhood. In fact, most of them had been downright terrible.

Some moved away when they heard a hanyou man was moving in, some 'ornamented' his house in unwelcome decorations. Some of them even chanced to glare at him. And the most terrible of all, told their children to stay away from him, because he was a mean and dangerous man that wouldn't pause for a moment to impale them with his claws. He didn't like humans very much. In fact he almost resented his mother for being human. '_But not all of them are bad. I suppose. I mean there's always-'_

SPLAT!

That was the sound of and icy cold ball of slush hitting Inu Yasha's left cheek. With a snarl he wiped the cold watery residue off of his features. He turned to the direction of the snowball throwers.

AAIIIEEEE!!!

That was the sound of two eight year old boys, running from Inu Yasha, who had contented with just throwing a snowball at the brats. It was times like this he damned cutting his claws in order to keep people from running away screaming from him. _'Stupid brats, they deserved that. Hee!' _He grinned and skipped the rest of the way to his house.

By now, he was sitting in his house, drinking his customary cup of hot cocoa. The only festivity he partook in. He had bought a tree this year however. And he decorated it in festive lights and ornaments. He didn't know why. It had been cheap, and he liked the smell of the pine that it spread through out his house. And the lights on the tree looked so pretty when he turned the lights off. But it was too quiet, he decided. He needed to hear someone, something, anything to console his mind. It got so lonely here.

The soothing sound of Charlotte Church's Christmas album drifted through out his house as he lay, curled up by the fire, content as he felt the warm fire's breath on his skin. He closed his eyes. He could use some sleep right now.

Less than an hour he woke up, screaming bloody murder and panting like he would never be able to breath again. After he was through coughing and wheezing, he inhaled deeply, sitting stunned as he waiting for his breathing to regulate. He had had it again. That nightmare. _**The** _nightmare, he got it every Christmas Eve. Some times, he would try to stay awake all night on Christmas Eve to avoid it but something always managed to lull him to sleep. And he dreamt it every time.

In the dream, he wasn't himself, but he was, instead, a small child. He was in an orphanage, but not the one he grew up in. It looked like the one he grew up in, but it was gnarled and warped beyond recognition. It had this evil feel to it. And he would run down a hallway, looking quite scared and try every door in the hallway, but they were all locked. Finally, the last door he tried opened and he stood outside, and it was snowing. At first he played in the snow, and was happy, but then the snow started to build up until it got so high that it suffocated him, and he would wake up, sweating and panting, screaming bloody murder, and scared out of his mind.

He got up and ran up the stairs, might as well use his fear to benefit him. He searched through his drawers and pulled out a small black journal, he ripped out a page and started to scribble furiously on the page. Ten minutes later, he was finished and he sat, examining his work. Being an author who only wrote well when he was feeling horrible and when he was incredibly tired, nightmares often gave him something to write about. This poem had been fairly nice.

The doorbell rang.

He nearly screamed when he heard it. Suddenly realizing that it was indeed the doorbell, he got up and went down the stairs to answer it, the only thought on his mind being: '_I swear to God, if it's those kids who keep chucking rocks at my windows while I'm sleeping…'They're not going to make it through this…'_ He reached out took the knob in his hand turning it slowly, ever so slowly. His jaw dropped at the sight in front of him.

"Ka…Kagome…?" he almost whispered, too shocked to do much anything else. He couldn't believe it. There, standing in front of him, on Christmas eve of all days, was the one person, of all the humans he had ever known the he tolerated. Hell, he didn't just tolerate her. He had somehow, slowly, grown to love her. She had always been there when he needed support, always held his hand when he felt lonely, always encouraging him when he felt as if his life had lost all its worth.

And holy lord did she look beautiful today! Her silky jet black hair fanned behind her, glimmering in the soft lights that hung in the houses around his. Her face was slightly blush pink from the cold and the coat he had given to her for the holidays hung loose on her shoulders.

"Um, well, I know you're probably busy and all, what with it being Christmas Eve and all but-" She paused "Do you mind if I come in? Its kind of cold out." He noticed she was starting to shiver a little and he could have slapped himself for letting her stand in the cold for so long.

"Oh! Of course!" he said, moving out of the way and allowing her entrance.

"Thank you Inu Yasha" she said, smiling angelically. "Well, um, anyways, I really hope you don't mind me stopping by tonight" she said, blushing.

"No! Of course not Kagome. I love seeing you. You're welcome here anytime. I mean…. Its sort of empty here. I was actually wishing someone would stop by" He said, surveying his bare home.

"Well, I mean, I know you're not married or anything but… Well don't you have family or anything coming?" she asked.

The look of malice he shot her sent chills down her spine. "Oh…Yeah." she said, suddenly feeling a tinge of guilt, remembering how he had told her about his 'family', or rather, his absence of one. "I'm sorry to bring up such bad memories…and on Christmas too… I'm sorry Inu Yasha." she said, staring at him with eyes pleading for forgiveness.

"Eh, its okay." He shrugged. "You didn't mean anything by it. I know." They stood in a small silence.

"Well, I suppose I should give you what I come here to give you…" She paused, and stared around the room for a little. "Inu Yasha?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"Do…do you mind if I spend Christmas with you?" she asked shyly as a slight blush formed on her cheeks. He was speechless. "I mean… You don't have to if you don't want to, but since you're all alone and all, I just thought…you know…"

Didn't have to say yes?! How could he ever say 'no'!?

"Uh…Sure." he managed.

"Really!?" she yelped. Her face lit up. "I mean… That would be great, thank you." she bowed, smiling. "Well, let's see. We need to get food first. What 'cha got in the fridge?"

Apparently, Inu Yasha wasn't much of a stay home diner, seeing as the only thing in his fridge was a stick of butter and an old loaf of bread. So, Kagome and him ended up going out and buying something. Or rather, what was left after all the other people got their food, not that anything was open. A near 7/11 sufficed. So, dinner ended up being chicken cup noodle, salad, and yummy vanilla milk.

And now they sat by his lit fireplace that Inu Yasha had made with an old book he didn't need, because he had no wood. _'Hee. Geometry text book. I should have burned this years ago.' _He thought as he tossed it into the flames. Each lay by the fire, with their own cup of cocoa, talking about nothing in particular, but just spontaneously laughing. He loved doing this, Kagome always made him feel so light and happy, like he could never be sad around her. He liked this feeling, really really liked this feeling.

"Inu Yasha?" she said through her quieting laughter, "Oh, by the way, it's hot, you don't mind if I take off my coat do you?"

"Oh, sure." he said and gently pulled it off her shoulders. He folded it and placed it under the tree.

"I always have such fun around you." she told him. "Like… I can't even describe it. It's like I could never be sad a day in my life knowing you were there." She paused and looked down. "I like it." He she been facing him, he would have noticed the blush on her cheeks.

He smiled happily and pulled his arms back under his head. That was the best compliment he had gotten in a while, and it felt especially good, coming from Kagome.

"Thank you for letting me stay here with you. I'd hate to be alone on Christmas." his smile thinned, he knew how she felt. "Even being in bad company is better than having no one at all." At this point her smile was completely faded. He understood how she felt. He knew, even despite his own feelings, he would have let her stay. Her childhood was…far from perfect.

Her mother had her when she was only seventeen and quit high school to marry the father. The mother was highly addicted to a number of different substances and her father was never home. They disowned her when she was young because they didn't want the financial burden of an un married daughter.

Through friends, she became a great author, which is how he, an avid writer himself, came to meet her. But despite her nicer life now, she would always be scarred after her harsh childhood.

His fingers slipped into her hand. "I like being with you Kagome." He turned his gaze towards the cackling fire, that hissed in its stone penitentiary.

She blushed. "I do too." she said softly. He leaned in towards her face, their lips growing nearer and nearer, the pressure of the silence was almost ear shattering. He cocked his head to the side as a sly smile appeared on his features, and then:

"I do more." He pulled away from her, laughing. As much as he loved her, he would never push himself on anyone, that was rude. And indecent.

She checked her watch and gasped. "Oh my god! Its twelve thirty already!?" She got up. "I'm sorry I have to leave on such short notice, but I do, unfortunately have work tomorrow. I should probably get going now, I do need to sleep eventually." she said with a laugh.

"Aw, ya have to?" he said sitting Indian style, grabbing his shins and rocking back and forth like an impatient child.

"Yes. I'm sowwy…" she said in a baby voice, and patted his head, lightly scratching his ears. She rarely ever did that, but when she did, he loved it. "Besides, Santa only visits when you're asleep. So you better go to sleep soon or else no Christmas presents for you mister!" She said jokingly waving a finger in front of his face. She walked over to the door and opened it, standing by the frame. He leaped up and followed her.

"Well, good night, I guess." he said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head. She giggled slightly. "Sleep well." He added, but only because he wouldn't wish his nightmare on anyone.

The silence that ensued was almost crushing, and completely awkward. She stood just outside the door frame and stared into his eyes. Her eyes looked busy as though she weren't really looking at him, but instead, thinking of something. He could feel his cheeks flush with blood. Before he knew it she had her hands cupped around his face and her lips locked in his. He slowly brought his arms around her and held her in place, kissing her back. She pulled away and looked into his shining amber eyes. "Merry Christmas Inu Yasha." she whispered, barely audible. And with that she ran away, her trim frame disappearing into the black of the night.

He must have stood at that door frame for a good ten minutes. Or at least, as long as it takes one's bare feet to start to turn an off blue-ish color. '_Oh come on, that can't be a good thing.'_ he thought sourly, looking down as he closed the door. Aside from that, his life was perfect at the moment. The girl he loved just kissed him! And he kissed her back, and it was…really good.

His head felt light and dizzy and he felt like he would pass out anytime so he crawled into his bed, and pulled his comforters up, curling into a ball. He was asleep in minutes.

He got up and groggily looked over at his clock, reading ten thirty. At least he slept in. He went down the stairs and into the kitchen, only to make some coffee, then sat down at the couch. The only thing left in his fireplace by now was a few ashes and an unburned corner of his now-destroyed text book. He sighed, and then noticed something. Under the tree, there was… something brown. He placed his coffee on the table and walked over to the tree, reaching under it and pulling out what seemed to be a coat.

_Hmm, Kagome must have left it here._ he thought. _Well, either that or she hated I and was trying to give it back without insulting me. _He laughed and decided to just go with his first thought. He picked it up and examined it. It was very pretty, he thought. It was brown leather and had this soft silky lining in it and was very comfortable and warm. Something fluttered to the ground and he bent down and picked it up. It was a letter. Addressed : _To Inu Yasha._

Well, it was for him, he might as well read it right?

He slid his nail under the envelope opening and cut a straight line with his claw, careful not to rip it. Something fell from it and hit the floor with a clunk. He bent down and picked it up. It appeared to be a necklace of sorts. It had a small silver chain and from that chain hung a pretty crystal, see through with a silver looking filling in the middle. He placed it on the coffee table and pulled out the letter.

Dear Inu Yasha,

I suppose you may or may not know the reasoning behind my giving you this letter. But before I continue with it I need to tell you something. Inu Yasha, you are a dear friend of mine. I would not want to lose you to anything. I treasure you more than most anything that there is. You are a wonderful man, Inu Yasha, the best friend anyone could ever hope for. You have changed my life in so many ways. Before I met you, I couldn't trust anyone, I never thought anybody would love me or be loved by me. Funny how one person can change all that isn't it?

That aside, I want you to know that even if things do not work out between you and I, I would never want to lose you as a friend. I want to keep you forever, even if only _as a friend. _

But now, we close in upon the object of this letter. My hands are shaking even as I write this. I love you, Inu Yasha. I love you more than anything else. You have always treated me so wonderfully, so kindly. Even at our first meeting at that conference for authors and such, I knew I had to meet you as soon as I saw you. There was just something about you that pulled me towards you. Like some kind of light that was shining inside you. I was surprised to see how shy and quiet you were when I first talked to you.

Though it took time, I did finally get you to open up to me. And you told me everything. Your hopes and dreams, your fears and nightmares. Things you loved and things you hated. About your struggles in the past, your life in the present and your hopes for the future. It made me so happy, when you told me, embarrassingly, that I was the first one you told about these things. Though you did add later, that you might have mentioned something to your ex-fiancée, what was it? Kikyo? You then assured me that you had shared more with me and that it felt better telling me than her and that she was a part of your past and she was a part of your present and that you much preferred the present. I was so happy that day. I felt relieved, oddly enough.

And I opened myself to you as well. I told you about my past, my secret. And everything else. I always felt comfortable around you. And you always made me feel so happy. I think I loved you most for that. I could never be sad around you. Even when I was feeling my worst I could always find a smile for you. There are very few people who can make somebody as happy as you make me.

As you might have noticed, there is, enclosed in this envelope, a necklace with a small crystal on it. I picked it up in one of the villages I visited in my earlier travels. A famous guru I once visited handed it to me and told me this: "You must put it in the right hands." I didn't think much of it at first, in fact I even made a few jokes about it. As you know, I'm not much of a believer in fate, or destiny, or even God. But somehow, I feel like that necklace belongs to you, Inu Yasha. I heard from the local townsfolk that it changes with how you are feeling, and that it is very rare indeed. I liked it very much, I was almost tempted to keep the thing. I never even got to wear it. But you are definitely worth it. Yes, you are very worthy of my jewelry. Hey, I just laughed.

Anyways, I need not ramble, after all the point of my letter can be summed up in three little words.

I love you.

Merry Christmas InuYasha

Yours Always,

Kagome Higurashi

only 

The letter drifted down to the floor and Inu Yasha stood still in his living room, his eyes wide with shock. He felt like he needed to cry and his eyes were brimming with tears, which he didn't understand because he was so happy. His heart was doing back flips in his chest and a tear fell from his eyes and soaked into the shirt on his chest. He grabbed the necklace from the table and threw it around his neck, running up the stairs and not noticing as it glowed a soft pink and the silver in the middle changed into a small heart shaped form.

He ran to the window sill and screamed with all the force in him "I LOVE YOU KAGOME HIGURASHI!" Well, that was pretty pointless… He didn't think she could hear him but at this point the really didn't care. He noticed a piece of paper sitting on the window sill. He picked it up and read it over, the poem he had written the night before. With a smirk, he crumpled it up into a ball and threw it out of the open window with a happy yelp.

He turned away from the window and descended the stairs, not noticing the ink on the paper bleed and swirl together, and then fade altogether, disappearing as those feelings had done.

This is my December,

This is my time of the year,

This is my December,

This is all so clear.

This is my December,

This is my snow covered home.

This is my December.

This is me alone.

And I-

Just wish I didn't feel like there was something I missed

And I-

Wish there was something I could do to make it go away.

And I'd-

Give it all away.

To have something to come home to.

I'd give it all away.

To have someone to come home to.

Give it all away

To have somewhere to go to.

This is my December.

These are my snow covered trees.

This is me pretending,

This is all I need.

But he wouldn't be needing this anymore. In fact, he felt that his life would be very different from now on. But in a good way. A very very good way.

Anyways, I need not ramble, after all the point of my letter can be summed up in three little words.

I love you.

Merry Christmas InuYasha

Yours Always,

Kagome Higurashi

He had all he would ever need.

__

AUTHOR NOTES

Aww, wasn't that sweet? I though of this while listening to 'December' by Linkin Park. I even shoved the lyrics in there. I hope you liked it and are feeling warm and fuzzy now. Please review, I would like to hear what you have to say.

Consider this my little Christmas present to all you. I hope you have a wonderful holiday.

Merry Christmas.


End file.
